urbanglasgow.co.uk

cybers · Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:01 pm Post subject:

Aye but whos telling him he aint gitting in

_________________
MY FLICKR
"At least on the internet the pages are not all stuck together"

cybers · Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:23 am Post subject:

What's blue and isn't working today?

Postman Pat
_________________
MY FLICKR
"At least on the internet the pages are not all stuck together"

cybers · Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:40 pm Post subject:

A judge asks the defendant if he has anything to say before sentence is passed. The defendant says, "fcuk all."

"What did he say?" the judge asks the court clerk. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "The defendant said, 'fcuk all', your honour."

"Don't be a cnut" the judge says, "I saw his lips move."
_________________
MY FLICKR
"At least on the internet the pages are not all stuck together"

Stuball · Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 6:00 pm Post subject:

They arent getting any better mate.....

_________________
Now coming at you with 95% more significance, 1% less salt and virtually fat free!

FLICKR GALLERY

sputnik · Single Fish Joined: 04 Oct 2008 Posts: 195

taken from an old billy connolly album,and i mean old.

fastnet · Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:58 pm Post subject:

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you because you're not a monk.

The man says, all right, all right. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk .

We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone... The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...

...silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door .

The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight

.. But I can't tell you what it is because none of you are monks.

Doog Doog · Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:17 pm Post subject:

_________________
See me? I'm daft, but it not ma fault!

cybers · Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:46 pm Post subject:

Leave now ....

_________________
MY FLICKR
"At least on the internet the pages are not all stuck together"

fastnet · Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:59 pm Post subject:

I'll get my coat.............

james73 · Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:42 pm Post subject: